Whether crafting a character as a story writer or simply walking through our daily lives, time affords us wisdom. Ah, if we can only grasp its significance sooner…

As a writer crafting backstories of “who and what a character is influenced by” and “what has brought a hero to their present state of want,” I often think of not just the character’s life events; I consider their relationships of influence.

We are all influenced. In how we work, play, and go about our day-to-day simplicities. Whether positive or negative, those influences sculpt us — sometimes subconsciously, oftentimes powerfully.

Becoming aware of our influences isn’t only a way of making sense of the present; it is a distinct and powerful way to create intentionality in the future.

It has been five and ten years since my mother and father passed away. Their influence waves through me, and often carries me, daily.

I miss my father’s wisdom and personal focus and my mother’s fun, witty, and often snarky New-Yorker quips. Every. Single. Day.

This post isn’t about character crafting. It’s about intentional living.

If you still have a parent here with you, treasure them. Spend time with them. Ask them questions and listen attentively. Do the simple things together: get a latte and chat, go to the store together, sing a song at the piano, take a walk. I now remember these things with my parents with such crispness, with incredible clarity, with warmth and deep love.

As each year passed, my “eyesight” of who my parents were, what they cared about, and how much love they had poured into me in ways that I hadn’t noticed became clearer — qualities almost always shown by simple actions and day-to-day moments that I had brushed off as insignificant, not realizing the implications and magnitude of their often-subtle infusing of life values into the understated, values that I carry to this day. Yes, I see their humanity and faults; “we all have them.” I also see the bigger picture of their charismatic, value-based, far-reaching impact on me afforded by time and absence.

And this is the irony. Of time. Of value. Of insight.

The worth and meaningfulness of a time, a place, a relationship are rarely understood, seen, or valued until the apotheosis, the denouement, the final summation of the moment in life has passed. And, in the afterglow, we realize that life will never be the same. We are left with the memories, the impact, and the heart-held power of, to the best of our ability, paying it forward.

Here’s to today and intentionality.

* Cheers
Erin

PS. This Saturday, April 19, 2025, join me for a free 90-minute online presentation/workshop with Valley of the Sun Romance Writers and “Make Your Book a Page-Turner! How to Ramp up Conflict and Create Raving Fan Readers.” It’s open to everyone, and I’d love to see you there.

Erin M. Brown, MA, MFA, is the author of 19 books in multiple genres and has been a professional writer, editor, and speaker for 30 years. Erin has a terminal degree in Creative Writing (Genre Fiction), a master’s in healthcare, and a bachelor’s in education. By day, she’s a senior writer, marketing director, and storyteller for global corporations and education, and she served as a university professor and curriculum developer of writing, communications, and leadership for 17 years. Speaking to audiences on writing since the ’80s, Erin is a member of the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association (SFWA), Authors Guild (AG), Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI), and Romance Writers of America (RWA) — and is honored to speak to writers across the world many times a year. Erin has also worked with Hollywood A-listers in story development for TV and film and has judged numerous book and anthology contests and competitions. Espresso in hand and surrounded by her collies, Erin writes from Michigan. Visit IG @erinmbrownwriter.